


contemplation

by youriko



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Divorce, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Unhealthy Relationships, intense angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 14:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9761939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youriko/pseuds/youriko
Summary: you's made one too many mistakes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im in a mood i guess? lmao

Riko had a bad habit of contemplating.

 

The word itself, she thought, was too stuck up, even for a former English major. It only worsened her mental health, which was already in shambles at best, and took too much time. She resolved to herself not to do it, but she also had a bad habit of not listening to herself in the least and doing whatever was most comfortable.

 

So, when You woke up and left in the morning, making a racket, Riko had a few hours to sit and _contemplate_.

 

They began somewhat like a fairytale. You was the prince, who stole Riko up from her small town, and began a life with her princess. She held her close, preformed little romantic favors, and knew just what made Riko happy.

 

Her contemplation about her happiness could be summed up in those few sentences.

 

It started to turn sour when they didn’t get to say goodnight to each other for a single night in a week.

 

Riko thought it shouldn’t worry her so much, and brushed it off, as You probably did. Maybe she didn’t notice at all. It shouldn’t matter, but it made Riko paranoid.

 

Riko had stayed up one night, all the way to 2 am, before You got home, slinging her jacket on the rack and raising an eyebrow at Riko, nothing more.

 

“You love me, right?”

 

You assured her she did, but she didn’t feel the least bit better, cause in the end, she forgot to say goodnight that night too.

 

She noticed she wasn’t as good at piano a while later.

 

Sure, she would hit the same notes, get the same crescendos, do everything the sheet said her to do, but didn’t do anything more. It had no feeling, and it caused her popularity to drop greatly. Though the magazines couldn’t figure out why, Riko knew, and she knew well.

 

“Hey, You, can you come to my next recital?”

 

A beat of silence, as if searching for an excuse.

 

“Sorry, I have work tomorrow.”

 

She always did, and Riko didn’t know why she asked anymore, but if You wouldn’t put effort into their marriage, Riko would have to. She made dinner for when You came home (never eaten, always put away, as she said it was ‘too cold by then’), bought concert tickets (You had a work emergency that day), and said goodnight. You would tell her she loved her, but would never say goodnight, and it infuriated her to no end.

 

“You….”

 

“What.” She had almost snapped it, making Riko shrink away. You, obviously, was done with the lectures on how the relationship wasn’t going well.

 

“Goodnight. Love you.”

 

“Love you too.” Her words seemed bored and obligatory. Riko shouldn't be so surprised.

 

Eventually, rumors made itself into the paper. “SHOCKING; Famous Swimmer, You Watanabe, may be cheating on her wife?” Riko had almost spit her coffee onto the rug, and though she told herself it was the country’s obsession with drama, the question wormed its way into her brain. Plus, the rug was rather nice.

 

You never brought it up, so neither did Riko.

 

Eventually, it grew too tiring for Riko, so she stopped trying, too. The depression still edged its way in, but she stopped making an effort. The house, in a few weeks, was disgustingly dirty. None of the dishes were washed, so one day, Riko had brought home paper plates and dishes. She didn’t bother to keep up the fridge, only going out with friends who were obviously eating off her mediocre fame. Once in awhile, she sprayed some air freshener in the air.

 

“Riko, you should really take better care of our house.”

 

“Okay.” Riko did no such thing, because she didn’t really love You anymore. The only thing she felt was the pain of breaking up.

 

That night, she left the house in a hurry, with only the clothes on her back and her wallet and phone. She’d buy everything else, in the city, with her mediocre fame.

 

A couple days later, You threatened with divorce lawyers, and she changed her name and moved hundreds of miles away.

 

Riko made a nice life in a small town called Uchiura. No one there had heard of her. She stared a book club, and made a few friends; Takami Chika loved all the books, Dia disliked all the books, Hanamaru actually criticized them with her careful eye, and Ruby just followed. When they got Ruby to pick a book herself, happiness blossomed in Riko's heart. The only thing dampening it was her former life.

 

You found her, cause she always found her.

 

“Riko-”

 

Her voice was hoarse, though Riko could not think what it could be from. She had stopped her swimming career years ago, after a particularly bad injury. She probably didn’t talk to anyone while she was gone.

 

Not that she had talked to her wife, at all, when she was there.

 

“My name is Solar.”

 

“Riko-”

 

“At least have the dignity to call me by my name, You.”

 

“...”

 

“If you don’t have anything to say, I suggest you’d leave.” A sarcastic laugh bubbled up out of her, dead-sounding. “Actually, I’d suggest you leave anyway, before I punch your face in and you have to beat me up, and it'll end with a couple restraining orders.”

 

“...”

 

“Out with it.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Riko felt rage flow through her veins, her entire body shaking. “ _I’m sorry_ ”????? As if that would cure everything? If that was all she had to say, she’d really get a restraining order.

 

“Fuck you,” Riko spat.

 

A day or two later, You moved to her town.

 

Riko hated her, hated her with all her soul, all her heart, for wasting all those years with her. All those years she could’ve lived, she could’ve laughed, she could've not been completely miserable.

 

But a part of her wanted to give her a second chance.

 

She was dumb, wasn’t she?

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry i love you watanabe i promise


End file.
